All About Grief

Grief is a strange process that cannot be understood until one has had to experience it. Tomorrow will be one year that I have grieved for the loss of my mom. At first, I could only think of the moments leading to her last breath fighting to keep her memory out of my mind, but now I can remember how she and I laughed all the time, constantly poking fun at one another. Remembering her has now become a blessing that gets me through each day. I wish more people could take the time that I did to grieve, and heal after a loss. Well, I did not choose the time the time chose me I got laid off from my job the same day my mother passed away, it’s funny how things work out. Grief is a process that is constantly changing going from one stage of grieving to the next, and then back again. I remember when the first several months after she passed I thought I was crazy, crying one minute, and mad the next. Take the time needed to deal with each emotion, and talk to family members, you will find some may be feeling the same way. Often I had no energy, and my biggest fear was would I ever laugh again, you know that fully belly laugh that makes other people around you burst out laughing too, would I ever find anything that funny again.

Well the answer is YES! Because I love life, and I love to laugh, and this horrible experience taught me that the best thing you can do is laugh, and keep on laughing. Never lose sight of what is important. My mom got sick when I was twenty-one, and battled for the next ten years fighting each day of her life for just one more day to laugh, love, and live. This taught me how to be strong, and face anything head on, and not to be scared of anything here on earth. Watching her, and many others that we met on our many trips to the cancer center, suffer through several rounds of chemo, radiation, nonstop testing, several surgeries taught me compassion, and that I would not trade for anything. Compassion is what this world needs more of; it is just unfortunate that we have to learn what compassion really is the hard way. Therefore, as this year ends I say I MADE IT! And I will make it through next year too.

Awesome Aunna